duo

刚刚看到五舅妈寄过来的一些妈妈在中国的照片，看起来气色还不错，心安一些。

妈妈在家里也是最矮的。好失败哦，为什么姥爷家其他人都那么高呐。。老天爷不公平哦。。。

五舅整个儿比我妈高一个头。。而凯亚明明比我小两岁，个子却已经190了，而且还在长哦！整个人状得一塌糊涂，又是一个抱篮球长大的孩子。。。

哎哟哎哟，也许我的孩子会比较高，也许姥爷的优良基因会隔代遗传？

好吧好吧，希望如此咯。。

i just realized something..

when you are in a relationship and you are with the person you are in that relationship with, you either hang with him/her inclusively, or you hang with other couples.. a circle of couples and singles will always create awkward moments or unsatisfying whines (either from singles or couples; there may be noises coming from both sides, go figure)

even when the circle consists of both singles and couples, the couples will still try to maintain the one to one ratio of boys and girls.. it just never works out when you realized that you are in a group of couples while you are single or vice versa, awkward needless to say..

i couldnt help but to wonder: is it a social constraint for single people to conform to couples by a certain age? when we were little, as far as i know, growing up in a family with chinese traditions and backgrounds, dating at an early age was considered almost a forbidden act.. when though, shall we progress from that ancient view to a more modern approach? shall we consider the beginning of our university/college lives being a brand new millennium for the freedom of dating? what exactly happened when we entered that 20-something boundary?

yet again, i realize that this only applies to a certain group of people with certain backgrounds.. and im just being wordy for the sake of it..

五舅妈刚刚告诉我，姥爷的遗愿是要和我妈妈的生母合葬在一起。他不希望有葬礼，只希望能够跟我的亲生姥姥合葬。看着五舅妈寄过来的照片，其中有姥爷的遗照，在家里为他所设的灵堂，我又难过地哭了。唐灵说，我的姥爷一定是一个正直的人，无论去了哪里都不会受苦的。我也是这么想的。虽然姥爷现在走了，其实他依然活在很多人的心里。他那张总是带着开朗笑容的脸孔，将会一直伴随着我。

我目前担心的，是我妈。别看她表面坚强，其实每逢这种时刻她是最脆弱的。我很怕她会自己一个人越想越伤感，越想越把自己封闭起来。她特别容易钻牛角尖儿，一钻一个准儿。这种时刻我最怕的就是她胡思乱想。担心哪，却不能回去陪她。只希望在北京的亲人能够将她从悲伤中解脱出来。让她现在分心去想一些其他的事情，将会是最好的良药。

姥爷的遗愿让我很感动。不希望有葬礼，是因为不希望大家难过，不希望自己的过世造成任何麻烦。他要跟我亲生姥姥合葬的遗愿也是经过了姥姥的同意才决定下来的，很是感人。我从未见过我的亲生姥姥，只知道她习医，是很聪明的女性。从妈妈的言语当中，依稀能够感觉到姥姥的温存，却从未真正了解过她。但是，我相信她在世时是很幸福的，因为就连过世26年之久，都仍然被姥爷挂念于心。合葬，这是多么浪漫的遗愿。

我衷心祝福他们在另一个世界平安快乐。是谁说死亡是终点站的呢？

姥爷，我爱你，希望你能听得到我的祝福。

眼睛总是湿湿的，孙女儿没用，但是仍然能够从模糊的视线中隐约瞄到你的神采。

这神采是不会改变的。